It’s been quite a while since I had any inspiration to write. It seems that only rage, disappointment, regret and depression fuel my creative thoughts. Not to mention the will to write them down.
I’ve tried to change my ways a bit. To get back into the lives of people I’ve left behind months, even years ago. But it looks like I still cannot make it work. No matter how much I try to run away from people and from situations that would make me look like a douche-bag, I still seem to land right in the middle of them.
Meeting an old friend, I’ve been told someone had a relationship with me. It was the first time I heard about it, especially since “my girlfriend” (or however her title would be) hasn’t spoken to me in years.
My biggest sin so far is letting weak people weaken me. I give too many fucks and I have too much hope for some. That only blows up in my face. It’s the reason why i don’t like meeting new people. The second I think they’re ok and that I like them close to me, they find a way to just poop all over my party.
It’s funny, one of my best friends has the same problem, and I always pick on him because of that. I guess I should listen to my own advice and cut these cancers from my life. Maybe he’ll be more perceptive than me and sees his mistakes as well.
Of course, thoughts about the future keep me up at night. I know that somehow I may be destined for more. Now I’m just waiting for a sign to show me the right path. Or the signs were shown… and I’m just too afraid of failing or taking a leap of faith.
Maybe the next time inspiration hits I’ll have better answers for myself. Maybe even a path to follow.